On holocausts

Coworker 3: did i tell you about my hideously morbid neteller nuclear holocaust dream?
Tara: no
Ken: .... consider yourself lucky :-P
Tara: I wish you could have seen my face when I read that line
Ken: hahahah. it wasn't even really that morbid as far as ...y'know nuclear holocausts go
Tara: is there such a thing as a happy nuclear holocaust? deformed rabbits hopping on one and a half leg through a blackened, former meadow?
Coworker 3: that's kind of happy. but i think there are much happier scenarios for a nuclear "holocaust". for example. say there's a certain type of wheat that germinates particularily well under immense radioactive bombardment and this wheat is growing next to a field of sugar cane and instead of hydrogen or uranium the bomb was made from only the finest glacial waters in the kootenay--we're talking about the nuclear payload here. now, we've got all the ingredients here for a fine tasting lager except hops. this is where things get tricky. basically, if all the people living in the target area stored a few bags of hops in their homes when the bomb detonated, it would instantly brew millions of gallons of big rock grasshopper. it would be, in effect, an alcoholocaust
Tara: I can't deal with this. I'm posting it to the blog and I need to always work with you
Coworker 3: well, i'm still working out the science behind it. but, i think it can be done
Tara: you make it happen, and everyone in Canada will be on board. I'd prefer to get trad in my house during the alcoholocaust though
Coworker 3: if you wish to have every cell in your body instantly atomized by a darker, richer flavoured explosion with a hint of nuts, then you will need to store slightly different ingredients in your neighborhood.
Tara: I can arrange that