On spiders

Karin: SPIDER!
Tara: What?
Karin: There's a spider. Can you kill it?
Tara: Sure. Wow, it's moving fast. [goes and gets toilet paper]
Karin: It's under the bed now.
Tara: Where? Oh. I need more toilet paper. That's big enough to be its own ecosystem.
Karin: That's not even a really big one.
Tara: It's plenty big enough. [catches spider] This guy's getting the big flush.

On shame

Karin: Remember him?
Tara: No. He's really hot though.
Karin: That's Sam. Remember him?
Tara: No.
Karin: Becky's little brother.
Tara: You're joking. He looks like he's at least 30.
Karin: He's probably 19.
Tara: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.