On my cousin

Coworker 3: So how was your vacation?
Tara: Pretty good. Really busy. The only bad thing was that my grandma was taken into the hospital. Turns out she just needs to go into a nursing home, but it’ll be fine. My mom says she’ll happily stay anywhere they feed her.
Coworker 3: That’s pretty funny.
Tara: One day while I was visiting her they came to ask her what she wanted for dinner and she ordered the same thing she had for lunch. One of my aunts was there and she started to get all distressed about it so I told her to stop worrying because Grandma doesn’t remember what she had for lunch and it’s healthy so who cares?
Coworker 3: That’s very funny.
Tara: It was a good vacation but it wasn’t relaxing at all so when I go to the UK this summer I’m going to do nothing but lay in my friend’s backyard for 2 days. Maybe I’ll read a book.
Coworker 3: That sounds perfect. Get a tan from the smog.
Tara: What sort of tan do you get from pollution?
Coworker 3: Misty.
Tara: Awesome. I’ll look mysterious.
Coworker 3: [laughing] That’s right. But it’s Misty with an “I” and a heart over the “I”, like a stripper.
Tara: I would make the worst stripper.
Coworker 3: Nah, you could do it. You’d just have to stop sleeping and have a stain over your tooth.
Tara: And stop eating. Hey, did I ever tell you I have a cousin who was a stripper?
Coworker 3: Seriously?
Tara: The highlight of Christmas not this past year but the year before was going over to my aunt’s and having my cousin show me her dominion. She had moved back in to her mom’s house and had a room in the basement. She was 37, a high-school dropout former stripper.
Coworker 3: I thought you were going to say she did a pole-dance on the Christmas tree.
Tara: No, but that would be amazing. You want to know the best part?
Coworker 3: What’s that?
Tara: She’s my father’s godchild.
Coworker 3: Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that.
Tara: I know.