On fashion

Coworker 3: i think your sexual orientation should be soley defined on your appearance in past decades
Tara: that would be hilarious
Coworker 3:if that was the case, my dad would have about 10 wives right now. he was like, magnum PI in the 70s and 80s
Tara: wow. he'd be a total pimp
Coworker 3: yeah, my step-dad on the other hand...would have been the first amish drag queen. he had the wrap around beard and the gayest clothes you have ever seen
Tara: that might be the funniest thing I've ever read. so you still judge him?
Coworker 3: um. short shorts, fanny pack, tucked in hawaiian shirt, 80s sunglasses, beard
Tara: okay, I judge him now
Coworker 3: if i don't judge him, history will. i wish i could get you the photo
Tara: that would be incredible
Coworker 3: even if i could, i'm not sure i would... that would cause emotional trauma equivalent to waterboarding for both him and those who see the photo. i want people to feel good about being alive
Tara: oh how I've missed you
Coworker 3: lol likewise