On soap

Coworker 2: Did you just take a shower?
Coworker 3: Yeah. Because I just rode the bike and I didn't want to smell like bike.
Tara: We appreciate that you don't want to smell like bike either.
Coworker 3: Especially since bike smells like old feet.
Tara: So you would smell like old feet.
Coworker 3: Right. When I could smell like something delicious like peppermint.
Tara: There are many better things to smell like than old feet.
Coworker 3: Check out this bottle. The label looks like it was written by a schizophrenic shaman.
Tara: [Laughs until she thinks she may no longer breathe and nearly chokes on the apple she was chewing]